Jonah Dabbles in Graduations.
Reflections on my Past
10-minute read.
Graduation season…a time of mixed emotions, goodbyes to friends, the closing of doors, and audience members questioning the fleeting nature of time. I often heard phrases in the crowd like: “I can’t believe four years have already passed,” “You’re growing up too fast,” “Where did the time go?”. For graduates, these last few years flew by, filled with memories of meeting each other on the first day, sharing the struggles of class, and finally graduation day. Each student, once united under this academic institution, is now breaking off on their unique pathway. A very uncharted chapter in each student’s life that begins with the unassuming question: “What are your plans after graduation?”
A seemingly simple question that evokes a different response from each graduate. Excitement for the next academic chapter? Curious about moving across the country? Dread of entering the workforce? Or the increasing anxiety about the unknown future ahead? No graduate knows for certain what the future brings, but each still has a hope of a life that they dreamed of as a kid.
Now, having graduated from high school for 6 years and college for 2, I can reflect on life after graduation. Perhaps I can share some wisdom for the new graduates. However, it seems that I’ve taken more out of attending graduations than my ability to dish out groundbreaking ideas to graduates.
Across two months, I’ve attended two graduations: my sister’s university and my brother’s high school. Each is at a different stage of their lives, but both are important to the reflection of my past life. Here is a collection of my thoughts.
May 17th
As I leave my sister's graduation from UIUC, I can’t help but have feelings of saudade for a school and city with which I have no strong connection. I have visited Urbana, Illinois, for weekend trips in the past to visit my dear friend Matthew, but no consistent relationship to the campus or town. I can’t pinpoint if it’s feelings of community and celebration, or nostalgia for a unique time of life that has triggered these melancholic feelings. Seeing families all together, similar to my own, it’s a very joyous time, but somber in that it signifies the end of everyday relationships and friendships as graduates move across the globe. One signifier of this transitional period is my sister's roommate moving out the night before the school-wide commencement. Maybe it’s nostalgia for a place that has always been associated with good times, or maybe it’s my desire to be a part of a widespread community that is typically found in academia. Whatever it may be, I am glad to feel this. Seeing students lounge on the quad and relaxing with friends reminds me of the carefree times I had.
In what feels like an increasingly busy phase of my life, and a job where I bill by the minute, each moment of life feels like it needs to be productive or tracked, or I’m falling behind. Could I tell you what I’m falling behind in? No… I have no idea what I would be trailing, but it feels like something important. In my transition to the adult world, to force a sense of understanding out of nothing, I added structure and rigidity to my days. In this process, I sacrificed parts of myself to have a sense of control. My sister’s graduation, a time of celebration and moving onto the next uncertain chapter, serves as a reminder of my previous mindset on life. A mindset that was not so concerned with making my days as rigid and productive as possible, but a mindset that invited wander and a lust for the present. Many adults, myself included, tend to disregard the opinions of the youth - “Just you wait until you get into the real world.” But there is much to take away as a reminder of how we used to live our days.
June 7th
The return to Rockford, Illinois, is always a fun time when I can see family and friendships that have stood the test of long distance and time. As a city and community, Rockford has had an influential role in the development of my character. To give some context of Rockford for those who are unfamiliar, Rockford sits in the Rust Belt. A once-thriving blue-collar manufacturing town, dealt a devastating blow by the outsourcing and exodus of work. Common characteristics of these cities are declining economies and run-down infrastructure. An all too common trait is the clear separation of socioeconomic status, which was defined by the Rock River that ran north-south through the city. I should note that Rockford is on the “come-up” since I’ve moved away from the city.
The high school that my brother and I attended was on the side of economic decline, the West Side. Our school had lower funding, degrading facilities, and lower-quality materials than our counterparts in the East. This was mirrored in the surrounding neighborhoods where many of the students resided.
My brother’s graduating class, on the surface, appeared very similar to my graduating class, which is comforting in that he had a similar experience to my own. The graduation itself took place at the BMO Center downtown. I can’t accurately characterize the average Rockfordian, but the audience was quintessential Rockford.
If I had to describe the ceremony in one word, I would have to say “NOISE”. To set the tone, the Senior Class President closed her speech with the phrase “WE IN ITTTT”. Once the procession of graduates started, there was a consistent volume of celebration as each graduate's name was called, their family responded with celebratory affection. If my brother’s class is any similar to my own, many of these students will enter the workforce or follow apprenticeships soon after graduation. For many, this will be the largest graduation ceremony, so many treat this moment with its deserved praise.
It was comforting to be surrounded by this environment, the environment of my youth. I unfortunately have overlooked the people I grew up with and those who helped shape me. My communities in university and here in Los Angeles, more often than not, come from a different socioeconomic background with different values and praises, which can often lead me to take things for granted. Attending my brother’s high school graduation acted as a great reminder of the community I was raised in and the blessings I have received to bring me where I am today. I would not be the individual I am today without Rockford and its people.
Both graduations benefited different aspects of my life, whether it be a reminder of my upbringing or my previous perspectives on life. These were both returns to the present reality during a phase where I am often just getting by. Congratulations to all the graduates this year, and Good Luck with your future endeavors. I am very proud of you, Emi and Lucas. Love you.
Song: Lust for Life by Iggy Pop